A NotSoUseless Piratetrap
by Nuppu
Summary: It starts from an inn with a pirate and a blacksmith talkin’ and dirinking rum... Just some random, brainless JackWill fluff I wrote to get some sleep one night. oneshot [Slash]


**Disclaimer:** All this you can recognice from The Pirates Of The Caribbean, is, indeed, from the said masterpiece-movie.  
**Warnings:** Slash it is, be warned an' run for you're lifes. And also if you are scared of any misspellings, typos or bad grammar... you might want to shut your eyes, scream and hit the back-button. I'm not bad, but that doesn't mean that I'm good either.  
**Pairing:**Jack/Will (well, when a fic is about the PotC and you have slash in it and it starts from an inn with Jack and Will talkin' and dirinking rum... well, it's quite clear to anybody, eh?)  
**Word count: **2 940 _(how did I manage that?)_

**A/N: **After the Curse of the Black Pearl, ending changed a bit. Just some _useless_ _fluff_. Enjoy. I'll babble more at the end.

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**A Not-So-Useless Piratetrap**

In the evening a few days after the Jacks supposed hanging, at an old and shabby inn in Port Royal's not-so-bright side of the neat town, there were two friends sittin in the corner table, drinking rum, of course, and talking silently about everything that had happened. These two friends were, of course, mr William Turner who had only a few days ago saved the other man, his friend Captain Jack Sparrow from a very unpleasant sentence. The waiter brought the two their third bottle of rum they had just ordered and went back to clean the desk. It was late and the bar side was almost empty and she was damn well very pleased at that.

In the corner, however, the atmosphere wasn't so cheerful. Captain Jack Sparrow had just ended his eventful tale of how he had swam to the shore and found a nice cave to hide in after realizing that the distance to the Pearl was too long for swimming and even if he'd try it, it would give the navy a good chance to try to shoot her down, and then how he had gotten a message to his crew by Cottons parrot and then in the evening swam away from there to find Will.

"Jack", Will said after a long silence, "I'm useless."

"Huh?" Jack almost – but just almost – spilled the precious rum he had been staring at during the stillnes. "Whaddayamean?", he blurted out looking all puzzled at the younger man sitting in front of him.

"What do you mean, _what do I mean_? I lost Elizabeth to Commandor Norrington! I was on the battle of _true lov_e and it _didn't win_!" Will explained desperately and somewhat irritated of the others lack of sympathy.

And, seeing Jacks expression of total confusement, continued to explain how it was _all his foult_ that Elizabeth was now going to marry a man she _didn't_ love and therefore was bound to be very unhappy about it for _the rest of her life_, and it would all be just his fault, because she had made the promise to marry Norrington only to save _him_. After that long outburst he also added that hadn't also _he_, Jack, lost his precious Pearl to some woman and thus was now stuck here, at Port Royal.

"I'm really such a looser, a totally _useless_ one. I'm no use to anyone, not even myself, seeing that I'm now all alone 'cause that Norrington's got the only girl I've ever loved as his fiancée!" He ended his whailing and poured some more rum into his mug and started sipping it gloomily looking totally depressed.

"Are you sure ye're quite finished with tha' rantlin' now, mate? 'Cause I really think ye should stop it. Ye're thinkin' too much, gettin' all stressed up 'cause of stupid thing's ye can't avoid in life", the pirate captain said his hands swinging as if he were in the middle of a storm commanding his crew. He took a long gulp of his mug and was just going to start speaking when Will opened his mouth to complain some more.

"I'm _not_ thinking too much! I've really ruined everyone's life – even my own! And even Norringtons as he now get's a wife who doesn't love him! Hell, I've even ruined _Barbossa's _life! And his _crew's life_!", he whined stubbornly and – was he _pouting?_ Jack grinned at the sight of the obviously very drunken lad in front of him who, indeed, _was_ pouting very cutely.

"Now I wouldn't quite say so, lad", Jack said, the mischievous grin still on his face.

"What? Haven't you been listening? I've ruined everyon– "

"I've heard ye, I've heard ye. But everyone's? Oh, not everyone's life you haven't!", the older pirate smiled quite enjoying the surprised expression on the young blacksmith's face.

"What do you mean?"

Jack's smile widened. "Well, _my_ life's quite good, actually, thanks to all the stupid things ye kept on doin'. As for me beloved _Pearl_, I'll get her back when I get to Tortuga. It'll be there okay, waitin' fer me. She misses me, o' course, but she'll understand... AnnaMaria might use her for a while, but after all, I _did_ steal her boat, so that's only fair, right?" he smiled at the disbelief in the other's face. "And what comes to you bein' a total idiot about yer love-life, _that _might be quite true, but I think we can settle tha' well enough. Ye'r jus' gotta pull yerself together, luv, an' see what's out there, waitin'." He had said all that quite fast and the very drunken and still more drinking Will stared at him with a very, very puzzled face.

"_I don't understand a word you're saying!_ What's your point?", he finally yelped after staring at the pirate for quite a while.

Jack leaned his elbows to the table and looked quite seriously at the still-puzzled friend of his. "I'm saying, mate, and _listen well now_, tha' ye haven't really been quite that stupid as ye think yeh've been. Stupid, yeah, but not that much. I'm sayin' that everythin's jus' fine and tha' ye're not useless. And that you should stop whining. Savvy?"

"But I have been! I've been totally useless for everyone!"

"Not fer me ye haven't. In fact, ye've been quite _useful_ for me", Jack said before his young friend had the time to begin another self-pity-rantlingsession.

A sight of an empty mug and an adorable, but unfortunately totally bewildered stare from Will made Captain Jack Sparrow realise that his dear mr Turner was really far too drunk to understand subtle hints. He'd have to use simple language to get his point – and prevent the lad from drinking any more, as he'd seemingly had had enough for one night. So, the said pirate captain took the half-full rum bottle from the table and drunk it all away. Just so that Will couldn't drink more and _really_ get useless.

"What did you mean by that – and don't drink it _all!_"

"Ye've had enough, mate. Your gonna have a murderous headacke tomorrow mornin' anyway", he said to the overly-drunken lad. _'Besides, I'm the one who's gonna need this'_, his evil mind added to him. "And about what I meant with that comment... well, to put it simply: ye've made me found the _love of me life_, or at least someone who I might stand fer longer than those whores back in Tortuga." The pirate smiled happily – yes, happily, and he seemed totally honest. "So _there._ Ye're not totally useless."

"So... so you have someone now? Well, that's... That's good." Will didn't look like he'd be all thrilled about it, but managed to smile a bit.

"Yeh bet it's good. I've never been this fallen fer anyone – and that says somethin', luv. But, actually, I don't quite yet have hi- ... them. But thanks to all ye've done, I at least got to meet them and have some kind o' chance..." Jack trailed of, looking at his empty mug a bit shyly. It was really weird to see the infamous _Captain Jack Sparrow _looking at _anything_ shyly, Will pondered. And, what about that "_hi- ... them_"? While explaining all that to his mug Jack had missed the tiny little grin that flashed on the youths face on that little blunder.

"Well... that's good. Who is it?", the again-drunken-and-gloomy Will asked, but the eager curiosity was there for anyone to hear.

"I ain't gonna answer tha' to yeh", Jack snapped as if it'd be the last thing he'd do.

"And why is that? Because you think I'm such a useless whelp who can't even keep a secret?"

The obvious hurt in Wills voice shook the pirate a bit. Maybe if he'd just been quiet about the whole thing... well, it was said and done, he'd just have to make Will get it. Without actually _saying_ it... no, _that_ would lead to ... erm ... _some__difficoulties_ if he hadn't gotten things right after all. And as Will was _that_ drunk, tired and blue... and, of course, being the ever-stupid lad he had always been and still was, too... it might be impossible.

But wasn't he _The_ Captain Jack Sparrow who loved challenges? Right. This was going to be difficult. But he couldn't just leave the lad thinking he didn't trust him, now, could he? _Right_.

"No. Just because ..." well, he hadn't really thought that, had he? Now why wouldn't a guy tell his friend who he fancied? Well... there wasn't really any good reason, was there... but, again, the whelp proved himself so-_not_-useles by talking again.

"So, it's someone I know?" Well, the question wasn't really better... well, it was easier to answer. And he wouldn't have to lie.

"Nope. Well... Ye think ye do. But ye don't really know him – I mean her, I mean ... them. _Them_."

"_Him, her, them_? Jack, you can't fool me that much. I already figured it would be a guy." Will wasn't shocked, he didn't start to preach that it was against the law, he didn't sound disgusted... Jack sighed a bit. He had lost this little battle.

"Bugger. Well, I really didn't think ye'd take it that well So, it is a lad. Er ... ye're okay with me bein'...?" Jack trailed off. He really didn't know a proper word for exactly _what_ he was. He'd never needed any words to discriebe it.

"Yeah. Don't you worry about that. It's been quite obvious, really, you know? I've gotten used to the tought." Will laughed a bit at Jacks thunderstruck expression.

"Obvious? What do ye mean, whelp? Obvious?"

"Well, you are a pirate. You are unpredictable. It would seem a bit too predictable if you'd only fancy the ladies... it seems like your style ... and, well, you _were_ all over flirting to everyone all through our little trip – when you escaped, you were even flirting to Norrington!"

That would've been a good way to get into a fight with Jack Sparrow, but, fortunately for Will, he has developed a habit of letting young mr Turner get away with comments that might've costed someone else their life. So, instead of a fist in the eye, Will got an angry answer and the fist only hitted the table.

"I did not flirt with Norrington!"

"Well, it sure looked like -", Will started, a teasing grin appearing on his lips.

"Hell, I didn't flirt with him, I don't even _want_ to flirt with anyone else except - " the very angry pirate captain stopped in the middle of his quite loudly announced statement. _'Damn, I almost said it!_'

"So... it was someone on the battlements the day I rescued you, right?" Will was now getting definetly dangerously far too close to the fact. He smiled knowingly and Jack knew better than to argue. So, instead, he just nodded and stared still angrily at the blacksmith. The said blacksmith seemed to be a lot cleverer while he was totally drunk. Jack really should remember that and never give the lad any rum.

"So, you like a lad who was on the battlements the other day when you escaped, and who I think I know but don't really know", Will summed looking rather thoughtful. "Anything else?" he looked at Jack, a knowing smirk on his lips.

'_Well, what do I have to lose anymore...', _the pirate tought and leaned over the table closer to the still-smirking lad.

"You think he's useles", he almost whispered, looking as honest as a pirate can, letting only a tiny grin play on his lips.

For a moment Jack thought the lad had realized it. He was sure that _something_ had flashed behind those pretty eyes, but the next drunken comment crushed all the hopes he had gotten up.

"But I've never said anyone's useless! I don't think anyone you like is useless!", the drunken sound of the statement made Captain Jack Sparrow sigh. Either the lad really was far too drunk to hear him, or then he just was stupid.

"I know that's wha' ye think of him. Anyway...", Jack said and got up to his feet. "We'd better head to bed now, mate, you really don't wanna drink any more or I'll have to carry ye to yer room."

"Aye! Lead the way, Capt'n!" Wills shaky kind of attempt to get up looked like he'd probably need to carry him anyway. So the pirate took a hold of his friends shoulders and kindly lead him towards the stairs, smiling to the tired-looking waiter on the way.

Finally they reached the two doors right next to each others with the irony numbers 6 and 7 hanging from them.

"Tha's our stop", Jack said letting Will lean on the door number six while opening the other door for his, at the moment, useles friend. The lock was rusty, but at least it opened. He grabbed the drunken lad and pushed him inside the little room.

"You know, Jack... I've never said or thought anyone's useless, except for me and that _totally_ useless drunk blacksmith-master of mine and I guess it ain't him you like... are you sure I think you're love is useless?"

Jack looked quickly at his friend who had turned around and was now leaning tiredly, eyes almost closed, to the door frame. How did he come up with such a long and fancy sentence being that drunk? _'He must really become more witty while drinking... that's impossible!',_ Jack tought while moving to his rooms door.

"Yes, I am sure. Positive", he said, nodding to the lad, and trying to open the lock. It didn't open. He pulled the key out. It was rusty, but seemed just fine. He tried again and shaked the lock. Will stared at Jacks fight with the irony thing and grinned, a bit lazily, but after all, he _was_ drunk.

"Don't ya dare laugh, whelp!", Jack muttered, caughing a glimpse of smiling Will.

"I'm not laughing. Besides, how can you be so sure about what I think of _him_?"

"I just know you do", the now quite irritated pirate captain said, looking at his curious friend and, deciding that he really _was_ drunk enough, proceeded to mutter to the evil lock:

"You said it yourself, _that you're useless_."

The last words came out so quietly Will almost didn't catch them, but, the meaningful word being _'almost'_, he did hear it all. And as he still wasn't looking at the younger man, Jack missed the mischievous grin that spread through Wills face, driving away the drunken expression totally. Being so firmly occupied with the seemingly broken lock in his door, he also missed the movement of the hand that took a firm hold of his loose shirt and yanked him suddenly away from the evil lock. The surprised captain yelped in a very un-pirate-ish way, when the said hand took a better hold of the collar of his shirt and pulled him very close to the supposed-drunken blacksmith-friend of his.

"Why don't you leave that poor old door alone for the night and do something more ... _useful_."

And with those words the said, now even more surprised pirate captain was pulled inside the room number six, pushed quite roughly to the door quickly closed in the progress and kissed very, very passionetly and not-at-all-drunkenly.

Coming to his senses – at least as much as you can, while being kissed by someone who you _don't_ exactly dislike, on the contrary, to tell the truth – he realized that the lad didn't smell or taste like rum so much as he should, concidering the huge amount he had seemed to exterminate of the said drink.

So the whelp hadn't been so drunk, or so stupid, after all?

"You know ye're kissing me, Jack Sparrow?" Jack asked breathlessly when Will pulled back just enough to start unbuttoning the pirates shirt.

"I am fully aware of my actions, Captain", the young blacksmith whispered to his ear, sounding very sober indeed, a bit breathless, too, but _very_ sober.

"So all tha' self-pity and bein' overly-drunk was jus' a part of your piratetrap, eh?", Jack asked after another rough, but very enjoyable kiss. He saw Will smile dangerously – not that that would be a very bad thing, as he was still Captain Jack Sparrow who loved challeges and danger and all that jazz.

"Right you are, Captain, and you walked right into it"

"You evil whelp– " Jack started, but was shutted up by a pair of quite needy, soft lips on his own and two hands exploring his now bare chest. Will chuckled at the pirates plain amazement and smiled again his most dangerous, so-not-blacksmith-ish smile before kissing him again.

And there, in that smile, Jack believed, was the answer to his former question. No, the whelp hadn't been so stupid, not stupid at all, nor drunk. And what about useless? Feeling Wills hands caressing his skin, setting shivers running through him, and leading him to the small bed on the other side of the dim room, he decided that _no_, Will wasn't useless either, not at all.

Much, much later that night, or rather _morning_, as the night had been spent very _usefully,_ and it was already beginning to dawn, the two pirates lay almost asleep on the same small bed behind the same small planket, wearing almost identical, but not-so-small happy smiles.

"Tha' was quite a fancy piratetrap, ye know?"

"I know, _I was there_. But do you really _mind_ being captured like that?"

"No, not really. I jus' didn't think you'd have enough pirate for anythin' like _that_..."

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**A/N:** It's fluffyyyyyyyy! Okay. I hope you're still alive there. This is what came into my mind when I was, in the middle of the night, thinking about Jacks part to the other fic I have about these guys, the _'A Pirate'_-thing. I wrote that one and then I got the idea for this one. It sort of... well, just bumped into my head. Had to write it down so that I could sleep. --' Not my best work, but it didn't take very long either. And, yes, this is supposed to be a one-shot thing. This isn't beta-ed yet, though I will give it to some of my friends for that reason, but that's going to have to wait a few weeks until I see them.

But I would still love to hear what you think. That **review**-button isn't a decorational-thingy. It's ment for _use!_


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